Confusion.

Met up with adeline and jinteng today :) Had Madjack for lunch then headed to somerset which I wasn't even inform before that at all. So many temptations but I managed to overcome them. It's really torturing when you got so many things you wanna buy but you cannot :/ Planning one day to go for a real shopping in december. It's gonna be another broke-month..... sigh. 

Okay, the reason for my super short and boring post is partly because of my laziness and the other part is because I'm feeling sad. And when I'm down, I feel tired. It's like my brain will transmit information to my body that says "Hey, you are tired." Well, that's a minor case though. 

Worst come to worst, the message would become "Life is so tiring right? You'll die anyway, why make yourself suffer now? Why not.. just end it now? It'll be better this way. Everything will be alright.. You will be brought to another place.. a better place." 

And then *poof!* I'm back to reality. "What on earth was I thinking? Why'd I ever have this thought of surrendering my life to the God of death? Jingyi, are you out of your mind?" 

Death.... is death scary? I thought reality is even scarier. 

Death... Will I turn to a ghost? Is there such thing as reincarnation? Does heaven or hell exist? If it does, where would I be sent to? Probably hell... I have not been doing any good deeds. 

Will I die because of an accident? Will I die of old age? Will I die of illness? Or will I die of suicide? Will I be crying in my death bed? Or will I be smiling? Will I have my children accompanying me by my side till my last breathe? Or will I die before my parents? 

What will happen to my family and friends when I died? Will they be crying? Will they come to my wake? Will they treasure their lives more? Or for those people who hate me, will they be popping bottles of champagne and celebrate?

Life is too complicated and confusing. Sometimes, I really don't want to care. I need a getaway, alone. Or with someone I really like. Someone who only brings me happiness. Someone whom I can totally trust and who will never betray it. Someone who puts a smile on my face and not tears. That someone..... 

To Someone: 

I'm waiting for you. 

I will wait for you. 

Wait for our getaway. 

But please, don't let me wait too long.

I may choose to go without you,

when I really can't take this no more.

Curiosity kills the cat.
静怡，你活该